Communicating To Kids About Divorce
A young child sits on his bed with tears rolling down his face.
His mother and father stare at him with a distraught look on their face.
The little boy asks, "If parents stop being married, can they decide not
to be a mommy or a daddy anymore?" His mother leans over and gives the
little boy a hug and replies, "Your daddy and I just can't live together
anymore, we still love you and we will always be your mommy and daddy."
This question, along with many others, are very common for young children
to ask when they are told that their parents are going to get divorced.
How does one reply to such a question? Looking into those big, tear filled
eyes, it can be hard to explain. The ...
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divorce counselor and
psychologist, suggests different ways to communicate to your children about
divorce. She recommends that children need to be told about the divorce
before it happens (Divorce: Telling the Children.
http://web.tusco.net/pfcs/prog%2033.htm). However, many parents fail to
tell their children that a divorce is in the near future. For instance,
John Lewis and his wife Phylis decided to get a divorce after several years
of marriage. Their son Brian was 14 years of age at the time of this
decision. Phylis one night packed her bags and left the house, without any
explanation to her son about her leaving. The next morning, John sat Brian
down and explained that they were getting a divorce. Although Brian was at
a mature age, it still didn't make sense to him and he was very
disappointed. Could this have been because it happened all so suddenly
with out pre-warning?
Brian happened to be at a more developed stage in his life when
this event occurred, however, ...
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questions. A common question asked is,
"If your parents don't live together anymore, do you still have a family?"
M. Gary Nueman suggests that, when dealing with these sort of questions
always revert back to the fact that the child will be loved just as much as
the child was when the parents were married. He also recommends explaining
that there are many kinds of families. This may be confusing for the child
to understand at first, however, explaining that a "family" isn't always
the mom, dad, and children, it is also the grandparents and cousins that
don't live with you, but are still very important members of the family
(88).
Even after the child asks questions, the child may not ...
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Communicating To Kids About Divorce. (2008, March 3). Retrieved November 28, 2024, from http://www.essayworld.com/essays/Communicating-To-Kids-About-Divorce/79971
"Communicating To Kids About Divorce." Essayworld.com. Essayworld.com, 3 Mar. 2008. Web. 28 Nov. 2024. <http://www.essayworld.com/essays/Communicating-To-Kids-About-Divorce/79971>
"Communicating To Kids About Divorce." Essayworld.com. March 3, 2008. Accessed November 28, 2024. http://www.essayworld.com/essays/Communicating-To-Kids-About-Divorce/79971.
"Communicating To Kids About Divorce." Essayworld.com. March 3, 2008. Accessed November 28, 2024. http://www.essayworld.com/essays/Communicating-To-Kids-About-Divorce/79971.
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